THE 3 LAYERS
Confidence is a belief in yourself that you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to and everybody on the planet wants more of it. . Confidence comes from within, and you can find ways of being more confident at any time.Confidence comes from a latin word fidere' which means "to trust"; therefore, having a self-confidence is having trust in one's self.Confidence is Learning how to be confident is important in every part of your life, but there are some instances where it’s crucial, especially at times where you feel like giving up. If you are a leader and in a position that requires being convincing and trustworthy, being confident is non-negotiable. No one will follow a leader who appears unsure of themselves. Lack of confidence can seriously impact your ability to put together a winning team and guide them to achieving your company goals.
s. Being confident helps you make instant connections and build relationships that will help you and your company succeed.
Confidence is important beyond the workplace, too. Learning how to be more confident can help you attract a partner you can build a healthy relationship with. It can also help you effectively handle conflict and seek out new opportunities that will foster your personal growth.
If you want to learn how to be more confident, you must be willing to change your state. Your state is essentially your mood at any given time of day. Your mood is influenced by how you feel about yourself at that point in time. The good news is you can change your state at any time – no matter what’s going on around you – as long as you know how to do it. Here are three principles of confidence that anyone can use to their advantage – and some real-life examples to help you apply them in any area of your life.
They know that confidence is not something you have, it’s something you create. Being confident is nothing more than a belief in yourself. It’s the feeling of certainty that you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to. Confidence comes from within, and you can find ways of being more confident at any time.
That’s not to say learning how to be confident will solve all your problems. Everyone has bad days or moments that upset them. Being confident also doesn’t mean you’re completely sure of yourself at all times. Creating confidence is not about knowing it all; it’s about trusting that no matter what happens in a particular situation, you’ll be able to handle it and learn from the outcome.
1. The surface
This is what we project externally on a daily basis, it comes down to a number of variables: Your voice The way you walk The way you gesture Facial Expressions Your posture Your actions Your conversational abilities The list goes on...just picture it as everything the rest of the world can see.
It is, in theory, an external reflection of your inner confidence. I say ‘in theory’ because the fact is that on this level confidence can be faked to a large extent. The classic example is that of someone who appears supremely confident on the outside but is actually incredibly insecure when you dig deeper.
We can all do things to make ourselves look more confident, by sticking our chest out and walking tall, or smiling and joking as we network a room, or wearing the right clothes. However, just because you can fake it that doesn’t necessarily make it a bad thing, especially in the beginning when you are trying to appear more confident before you feel like your inner beliefs have caught up.
The surface lays is somewhat superficial and definitely not sturdy because as soon as something comes along in your day to throw you off track, it will be very hard to maintain these appearances. That is why we need to backing up the surface layer with the next layer - The lifestyle layer
2. The lifestyle
This layer of confidence is fundamentally derived from your outer world. If the surface level is everything you outwardly portray to the world, the lifestyle layer is the confidence you derive from the world you create around you. In it’s simplest sense, it all starts with what you choose to do with your time, as ultimately, that will determine who and what you have in your life. This all comes to form our ‘Constructed Identity’. The kind of things that make up our constructed identity are: Our career Our earnings The hobbies we have Family Friends The condition of our body Our social life Our skills i.e. knowing a language or an instrument You get the picture! There are a lot of different areas that go to making up the lifestyle layer. These traits make up our general lifestyle. How proud we are of this lifestyle will also determine our level of confidence at a given time. As part of my courses I help you to build on the lifestyle layer, so that your life is filled with things you are proud of that give you huge levels of confidence. Once you have this it becomes much easier to adopt the surface level, because it then feels like it is rooted in real world achievements. Now the thing about these first two levels is that they can be taken away from you at any given moment. Suppose a natural or financial disaster wipes out all your assets tomorrow.
3. The core
This is really where it all ends up. When everything is on the table, the thing that really keeps us strong is our core confidence. So what is core confidence? Or rather, what allows us to feel core confident? In short, it is our beliefs. Our beliefs about what we are worth in this world, what we deserve, what we can achieve, what we are here to do. What I love about core confidence is that it’s not about how much you have achieved already. It’s about what you believe is possible for you. People with core confidence can lose everything and still feel absolute assurance in their abilities.
Core confidence is almost solely dependent on your ability to LOVE YOURSELF. Once all your merits and possessions have been stripped away, how much can you genuinely love yourself? It’d the extent to which you can look in the mirror and say: “That person right there in front of me is the best friend I will ever have.” When you can do this nothing else matters at the end of the day, because this is the layer of confidence that noone can take away from you.